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For many years I have wanted to go and get involved in planting churches. It was the main reason I initially moved to Bristol. At that time there was a relatively young church in the centre of Bristol which had a vision for planting further churches within the city.
After spending a few years in that church I joined the plant made into the north of the city in 2001.
For the last 7 or so years I have been in steadily declining health, culminating in a diagnosis of fibromyalgia towards the end of last year. This has meant that, despite my dreams, I have been unable to get involved in any further planting initiatives.
However, earlier this year, I experienced a measure of healing. My energy levels are now significantly increased and I began to pray and talk to my church elders about the possibility of moving on. Into this context God spoke very clearly to confirm that now was the time to go.
There are two countries (I use that term in a fairly loose sense) that have been on my heart for years. Scotland and Iceland. We’re not ready to go to Iceland yet and the Scottish city of Inverness has been very much in my thinking for the last 6 years or so.
Earlier this year I met with Eric Cairns who is leading a small church planting team in Inverness – about 8 people including Eric and his wife. Kirstine and I both felt very much connected to Eric and his wife, Alison, in heart and feel that God is leading us to move up to Inverness and join them. There was some talk from Eric and the guys who lead the region that perhaps I could pick up the leadership of the church in a few years. However, I feel that God is calling me more to pioneer than to pick up a work that someone else has started. That being the case; I feel that our move to Inverness is a springboard to somewhere else – probably in the north of Scotland. It seems to good opportunity both to regather my strength and to learn from someone new about the adventure of church planting.
In terms of time scales everything depends on work. We’d like to move as soon as possible – ideally before the end of the year. Due to the fact that my health is not 100% I will, initially, be looking for work that I can do from home – perhaps even starting a business.
Once the job situation is sorted we will begin the process of moving in earnest. We would value your prayers in this!
While worshipping God this last Sunday morning I had something of a revelation. Perhaps to many of you what was (potentially) life changing to me won’t be news at all. But I wanted to write about it anyway!
The thought process that led to the revelation began with the question of why God created everything. Someone was bringing a contribution (1 Cor 14:26) about how God was complete in himself and needed nothing. The question then arose in my mind “Why did God create the universe?”. This is something I’ve thought about before and I’m sure I could have come up with some sort of potted answer. But, for some reason, I continued to think about it.
I was reminded of something I’d heard or read recently – I’m afraid I can’t remember where – that said the joy of the trinity in each other was so great that it overflowed. That the reason for the creation was, essentially, so that there would be others to enjoy God in his fullness. The Westminster Shorter Catechism states that
Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever.
John Piper, in his book ‘Desiring God’ argues quite convincingly that the word ‘and’ should be replaced with the word ‘by’. He suggests that the way we glorify God is by finding our delight and satisfaction in him.
Either way it seems clear that enjoying God and glorifying him are closely linked.
There may, at this point, be some objections or questions – surely the purpose of creation was to gather a people for God? Or the purpose of creation is to establish the Kingdom of God?
In response to the first question, I can’t see any difficulty between the idea that God is gathering a people for himself (which, ultimately, finds it’s fulfilment in the church) and the reason for creation being to spread the joy (and, therefore, the glory) of God. Surely the purpose of that people is to glorify God by enjoying him? By being satisfied in him and relying completely upon him?
The idea of the Kingdom, of course, is much greater than simply a people. Everywhere that God is healing and demons are fleeing; where God’s people are going the extra mile and displaying counter cultural meekness you will find the Kingdom of God. Again, it doesn’t seem a huge leap to me to see that all of the Kingdom activities are about enjoying God, being satisfied in him and living by the strength of his grace.
All of these musings lead me back to the thought that delighting in God (and thereby glorifying him) are central to the purpose of creation.
The implications for this are, to my mind, staggering. Romans 8:32 clearly ties together the cross with God’s determination to do us good. But, if we go right back to creation and tie it in with enjoying God, we can see that God’s passion to do his people good and to increase our joy in him is at the core of everything that we see, touch and experience. Through every circumstance, regardless of how easy or difficult in seems, we can be sure that God is using it for our joy and, through that, his glory.
Way back in February 2006 John Piper wrote an article called “Don’t Waste Your Cancer“. In the last year or so I find myself regularly coming back to this article in an attempt to help me understand how to handle suffering. With my own fibromyalgia and, more recently, the discovery that my mother has a rare, terminal cancer it is something that has become more important for me to understand.
With that in mind; I wanted to write, based on Piper’s points, a short article on how to not waste my fibromyalgia. First let me be very clear about something: I am absolutely not comparing fibromyalgia to cancer. Cancer is, in many cases, terminal. It requires aggressive treatment with often unpleasant side effects. Fibromyalgia, whilst a horrible condition, is better than many cancers. Unless, of course, the cancer is easy and relatively painless to treat. I have no idea how many, if any, cancers that can be said of.
Either way fibromyalgia, along with CFS/ME, is not a pleasant condition to have to live with. I believe that it is God’s gift to me for the purpose of achieving his glory and my good. I am not currently able to see how that will work out to be the case, but I believe it with all my heart.
This article, then, is an attempt to help me understand how best to respond to the gift that God has given to me and how to treasure him most in my circumstances. As I have said, cancer is, in many cases, terminal. This means that some of Piper’s points are not relevant to fibromyalgia. As a result I have only 7 points instead of 10.
- You will waste you fibromyalgia if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.
Nothing can happen unless God permits it. If he knows that someone is going to develop fibromyalgia, he can prevent it. The fact that he does not shows that he must have some purpose in it. Since God is wise and loving we can call that purpose design. There is no real room for a free will argument here (nor the time to refute one anyway) since no-one chooses fibromyalgia. I must believe that my current state of health is designed by God for some purpose; if I do not believe that then I am in danger of wasting it.
- You will waste your fibromyalgia if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.
Romans 8 makes it clear that God will withhold no good thing from those who love him and that he will turn all things to their good. If God has allowed this to happen to me then it must be not only for his glory, but also for my good. It is therefore a gift. I will, ultimately, be better of having had this condition than if I have lived my entire life in good health.
- You will waste your fibromyalgia if you spend too much time reading about fibromyalgia and not enough time reading about God.
As Piper says, “Ignorance is not a virtue.” It’s not wrong to read about fibromyalgia and to try and learn about it. But my response to this problem must be to seek to know more of God in my life. One of the symptoms in fibromyalgia is extreme fatigue. Scripture makes it clear that the solution is to seek more of God:
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
I must learn to rest in God or “wait” on him. I must do this by reading scripture, reading books about God and by seeking to enjoy his presence. The more I do this, the better I become at it, the less I will waste my fibromyalgia.
- You will waste your fibromyalgia if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.
One of the challenges presented by fibromyalgia is solitude. I am no longer able to make it to church as often as I’d like and when I do get there I’m usually unable to stay for the whole meeting. When we meet people socially I have difficulty concentrating for any length of time. I am particularly poor in crowded or noisy environments. As a result I feel far more isolated than before. My family and I are blessed by the love of those around us. People have prepared meals for us. Others have come round to catch up and pray. There is one particularly good friend who comes to my house every Friday morning to pray. Even with all this it’s very important that I make an effort to spend time with people and encourage them. I need to make an effort to return the love that is shown to us. Not out of some sense of debt or duty, but because I genuinely love these people.
- You will waste your fibromyalgia if you grieve as those who have no hope.
One day I will be with Christ and free of all sickness and pain. I pray every day that God will heal me; but, even if he does not, I still have a firm and unshakeable hope in him and his salvation.
- You will waste your fibromyalgia if you treat sin as casually as before.
Sin is worse than fibromyalgia. It’s far more dangerous to me. Having fibromyalgia helps me to keep things in perspective in a way that is difficult when things are going well. This season is therefore an excellent opportunity to attack sin in my life. There is also, however, a great danger than I allow my condition to lead me into sin. It’s easy to lose hope and very easy to allow laziness or impatience to take hold.
- You will waste your fibromyalgia if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.
It’s too easy to complain and make my life all about how difficult things are. The danger is that I make Christ look less beautiful than he is. He is worth more than life and health. If I am never healed, but am able to know him more then this has all been worth it. If I am somehow able to use this time as an opportunity to show his glory to others then my fibromyalgia has not been wasted.
Over the last few months I have begun to wonder more and more whether or not some of my assumptions about my health are true. For example: it feels like I couldn’t possibly do any of the things that God has called me to do, or gifted me to do in the past. My health simply doesn’t seem to allow for that.
However, perhaps God has allowed my health to become this way in order to show His strength through me. If it is true that God’s strength is magnified by my weakness then I am a wonderful opportunity for God to be very strong! Paul, in 2 Corinthians, talks about his “thorn … in the flesh”. He doesn’t reveal to us the exact nature of his thorn but says:
8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:8-10 ESV)
I believe that God can heal me. I will continue to pray for that and to ask others to pray as well. My healing is also a way that God can be glorified in me. In the meantime, however, I am going to try and understand how I can best be strong in the weakness of my Fibromyalgia and to know the sufficiency of the grace of God.
If God has called me to plant churches, to preach, to lead worship and; perhaps; other things, then maybe I don’t need to be healed to do that. Perhaps I won’t do any of those things until God has healed me, or perhaps God intends to demonstrate His grace through using me to do all those things, and be a good husband and father, whilst still suffering from Fibromyalgia.
Whatever His plans, I pray that through this experience my family will come to know and love Him more so that he would be glorified in our situation.
I welcome any thoughts on this – please feel free to comment.
Via the useful website writetothem.com, I recently sent the following letter to my my MP: Mr Douglas Naysmith. For a while I have been extremely concerned about the way the British and Dutch governments have been treating Iceland. I finally decided to voice my opinion.
Dear Doug Naysmith,
I am writing to express my concern and dismay about the way the British government is treating the nation of Iceland as a result of the IceSave problems.
First of all, it seems outrageous to me that anti-terrorist legislation was ever used as a tool against the Icelandic people. Not only does this set an extremely dangerous precedent – can Mr Brown simply declare anyone a terrorist? – but it’s also a clearly inappropriate use of such laws. It may well have also accelerated the collapse of the Icelandic banks.
I am also led to believe that, before the current economic crisis and IceSave’s part in it, the British government were warned about the potential problems with a bank backed by such a small economy. Obviously, the Icelandic government and business community hold a significant responsibility themselves. However, I cannot see that this is in anyway justification for bullying them.
Despite the fact that the losses suffered were the result of the actions of a few individuals; the Icelandic government has undertaken to repay the money lost by the British and Dutch governments. They are, however, looking to add conditions that will protect them and their economy from being enslaved to a debt they can never repay. Given that the Icelandic taxpayers are undertaking a debt which is in no way their responsibility; these measures do not seem unreasonable. However the British government seems intent on continuing to bully the Icelandic nation. In some ways it seems little better than the schoolyard bully trying to steal the smaller child’s lunch money. In fact – it’s more like making sure that child is never allowed to have any lunch money again!
Naturally I am as dismayed by the stance that the Dutch government has taken, but I have no way of making my feelings known to them.
I wonder if you would undertake to ask in parliament why such a position has been taken by our government and why our Prime Minister seems so intent on bullying a small nation.
Yours sincerely,
Paul Hunnisett
I don’t have much expectation of a favourable response – but at least I wrote to my MP about something I feel strongly about!
This post is a bit of a test post to see what it’s like writing blog posts from my phone. I’m not expecting it to be quite as easy as posting from a computer but it might be useable. The main reason that I wanted to even try this is simply that, despite the inconvenience of writing on my phone, I’m far more likely to actually do it!
Having written all that from my phone; it turns out that it’s not particularly painful after all…
I’m having a thinky moment…
I’m wondering what is happening to different people around the world right now. As I type. How many people, as I type, are being killed and how many are being born? How many people are falling asleep and how many are waking up? How many people have just fallen in love and how many are having their hearts broken? How many people are being born again? How many people are eating and how many starving? How many people looking at the sunset and how many looking at it rise again? How many people are sitting at a computer typing?
This morning, while going through all my Twitter updates, I came across a short article by John Piper on why he doesn’t own a television or go to movies.
One of the problems I face with my recent health problems is that I rarely have any energy (and I mean any!) or concentration. This means that I frequently spend my evening watching DVDs; simply because they require very little of me and provide an entertaining pastime.
I really don’t, however, want to waste my life in this way. What I want to do is spend time with my wife & kids, read books that will envision and inspire me, watch videos of excellent sermons and, above all, I want to pray and seek to enjoy the prescence of God. The problem is that all of these thing require more energy and commitment than I have available for the most part.
I have decided to try and take a slowly slowly catchee monkey approach. Although my energy levels may still cause me to waste an unfortunate amount of time, I’m going to try and make sure that I read a page or two of a good book most days. I’m going to commit to talking/playing with my children – even briefly, every day. I’m also going to try and seek the Lord as much as I am able – especially on my days off.
The sivler lining to our situation is that it often drives Kirstine & I together to simply chat and share the burden together. I am appreciating my wonderful wife more than ever these days.
I can’t pretend that I’m going to improve much in any of these areas but, perhaps, I’ll be able to use what little energy I do have in a constructive way before I lose it and crash out in front of the telly…
There are also good things that I do occasionally find that I have the time inclination for. Writing a short blog post for example. Being creative – writing music etc. – is a good use of time. These things relax me and, on my days off, provide something useful to do. I also refuse to accept that watching rugby is anything other than a glorious use of my time! 
I can’t contribute enourmous things to the the Kingdom of God but, perhaps, I can move forward, albeit slowly. In that way I will try to not waste my life.
Recently a friend of mine, Al Shaw, asked me, via Twitter:
Yeah, so what is it with you and Iceland? Give us the inside story. Huh? A blog post, perhaps….
So here is the inside story…
I’m afraid that it’s not a very exciting one. I have a fascination with a unique people and a rich culture. As I read the sagas and enjoy Icelandic music I find that myself more and more intrigued by the people and their country. If my wife has my way, however, it will never be more than a simple fascination – an interest. That is not because she doesn’t like Iceland – we both enjoyed a weekend there together – it is simply because she doesn’t like the cold.
I’ve only ever been there twice in my life. Once, when I was twelve, I went with King’s Kids to do outreach in Iceland. We were there for about 10 days and I had a wonderful time. More recently, my wife surprised me by taking me to Reykjavik for a weekend to celebrate my thirtieth birthday. This was a much closer, albeit shorter, look at Iceland and it’s people.
Would I one day like to move there? Would I even like to see a church planted there? Absolutely, yes – but I cannot in any sense say that I think that’s because of a call of God on my life. In fact, though it would take less to convince me, I think that my wife would need to see angels before she would !be brought around to the idea! (Any volunteers to dress up as angels welcome).
I would certainly, however, want to encourage and pray for anyone else who feels God calling them to this amazing country. Officially the country is a christian one; although it is dominated by religiosity and legalism. According to the Icelandic Ministry of Foreign Affairs, 83% of Icelanders belong to the Evangelical Lutheran Church. Only 1% of Icelanders belong to what is considered a charismatic congegation. Most of the church activity is outside of the capital city. The Operation World website records that there are 8 charismatic congregations (and 1 pentecostal) with under 700 members.
The influence of Paganism is still quite strong in Iceland; perhaps largely due to a sense of history and an acient culture.
If nothing else – I would certainly recommend to anyone that they visit this wonderful country. One side effect of the awful economic breakdown is that visiting is much cheaper than it used to be (although still not cheap). This means you can help their economy and have a wonderful holiday at the same time!
One of the subjects that I have given most thought to in my life is the sovereignty of God. In particular, I’ve wrestled with the implications of a sovereign God on human freedom and responsibility.
Let me start out by saying that my position is very much a reformed one. I have come to a place (and actually been here for years) where I love the fact that God is sovereign ruler over all. I love that, of everyone in the entire universe, God alone is entirely unfettered in his freedom (Ps. 115:3). It is of enormous comfort to me to know that he is in control; that every situation I might encounter is planned by one who is for me, who works all things for the good of those who love him and whom he has sovereignly called according to his purpose.
I have recently read through 1&2 Kings again and have been so struck with how unashamedly the author(s) ascribe sovereignty to God. Many significant events are described as happening in response to something God said or promised – often a generation or so before!
The main issue that people (certainly in western cultures) seem to have when discussing the sovereignty of God is that of free will. Sometimes people will simply say that the there is a tension to be held between mankind’s free will and the sovereignty of God. There are many who contend that “the one thing God will never do is override your free will”. For example:
Jesus is coming back for a Bride that will be without spot or blemish. He is calling His Church to clean up their act and allow His Holy Spirit to begin this sanctifying work in their lives. However, the choice is up to each individual believer. Sanctification is not something that can be forced upon anyone. God really respects everyone’s free will and He will never force His will or His ways on anyone - bible-knowledge.com.
I also recently came across openness theology. This seeks to put limits on God, particularly in reference to his knowledge of the future, in order to facilitate our ability to freely make choices. My concern with this is simply that it seems to be to be, at best, bordering on blasphemy and having no foundation that I can see in scripture. Perhaps one day some open theists will read this and be able to point out what I have missed.
Despite the obsession we seem to have with how to balance God’s sovereignty with our apparent free will; it seems to me that the biblical tension is actually between God’s sovereignty and our responsibility. Certainly this seems to be what Paul is most keen to address in Romans 9:
9 For this is what the promise said: “About this time next year I will return, and Sarah shall have a son.” 10 And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11 though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— 12 she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” 13 As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”
14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.
19 You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— 24 even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? 25 As indeed he says in Hosea,
ESV
This also seems very evident from several episodes in scripture – one of the clearest being David’s census. The passage clearly shows that not only did David sin because God caused him to; but God then also held him responsible for that sin and punished him for it.
In some ways this may seem more difficult to reconcile than the question of free will. Our immediate response is that this doesn’t seem fair. God is the one who is ultimately in control of what happens and what decisions are made and yet we are still held responsible for our decisions and actions. Paul seems to think that this is a perfectly reasonable concern. In fact he addresses exactly this question in the same section of Romans 9. The biblical response to the question of whether this is just is simply that God is God and, as the creator, is justified in using his creation as he pleases.
Coming full circle – does this mean that we don’t have free will? The only assertion that seems biblical to me is that, if we do, it is subect to God’s will and his purposes. We may have free will – but it is not absolute and unfettered. Certainly the idea that “the one thing God will never do is override your free will” seems to me to be entirely unfounded on scripture.
I recently came across this very interesting video which may shed some light. Perhaps we can learn something from how marketing strategies can manipulate us into making decisions, despite being certain that we are freely making those decisions. It seems far easier to understand how we might have the perception of absolute free will even though we are all subject to the plans and purposes of God.
Ultimately, however, we are left able to be confident that God is sovereign over all things; but we also need to remember that we are responsible for all of our own actions – whether our choices are freely made or not.
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